31 Problems Only Girls Who Go to the Gym Understand
If you go to the gym, you’ll totally relate to one (or all!) of these.
1. Motivating yourself to go to the gym in the first place. Seriously, it’s a battle.
2.Trying to use that insanely complicated arm machine, but having no idea how to operate it and you’re too embarrassed to ask that cute trainer nearby. So, you just end up using the free weights and a random routine you Googled on your phone.
3. Having to salvage your hairstyle with dry shampoo. Because it’s not sweaty enough to have to wash it, but you still want it to look good for tomorrow.
4. Seeing more naked ladies in the locker room in one trip to the gym than you’ve ever cared to see in your entire life.
5. Breaking out because you forget time and again to wipe off your makeup before working out. Acne is annoying; nix it with these simple tips.
6. Your crotch sweats through your pants and leaves marks. Enough said.
7. If you have to go anywhere other than your apartment right after you go to the gym, you have to conduct a mini conversation with yourself about whether or not you’re sweaty enough to warrant taking a shower. This is both gross and true. And if you do skip showering, you turn to towelettes to freshen up.
8. Your iPod dies the second you start on the elliptical. $#&!@!!! Miley was the only way to get through that interval training.
9. Having long hair and only one hair elastic that conveniently breaks right before you start working out. This is where you ask the girl next to you on the elliptical, who has two elastics on her wrist, if she can spare you one of her hair ties.
10. Wanting to watch really trashy TV on those little TV screens while everyone around you is watching Bloomberg/some educational shit. No judgment, watch what you want to watch!
11. Knowing that Real Housewives of New York is on at the same time you’re at the gym, but not knowing how to control that gym TV that hangs over the machines.Let’s be honest, you’re not asking the cute trainer for that kind of help.
13. When you forget your sports bra and contemplate whether to risk being super uncomfortable/have your breasts fly all over the place, or feel guilty about ditching your workout. Don’t feel guilty but do ditch your workout — the girls need support!
14. Trying that new circuit training workout on the treadmill and promptly falling/failing/flailing. It’s OK, you’re not the only one who looks like a baby deer walking for the first time while trying out a new workout.
15. Watching (with thinly veiled rage) someone sweat all over a machine and not clean up after themselves. Unless your mom is behind you wiping down everything you sweat all over, for the love of all things sanitary, please wipe down your machines, people!
16. You have to plan your life around when the bookings window opens for your favorite class, so you can make sure you get a spot. You can’t exercise with us (unless you sign up days in advance)!
17. Accidentally buying a tank with a built-in bra that isn’t quite supportive enough.Which means you’ll still need a sports bra if you don’t want the exercise you’re about to engage in to get interesting, or a nip slip.
18. When you forget your lock and are running late, so you just throw your crap in a random locker, but then you can’t remember which one. You’re basically opening doors for days after you’ve just worked your ass off. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
19. When the electronic lock won’t open even though you’re typing in the right code.You instantly feel superhuman strength run through your body as you attempt to rip the door off by yanking on the handle.
20. Taking a shower and then realizing you accidentally grabbed a little towel that won’t cover all your parts. You’re now one of the naked people that everyone else has to blatantly avoid looking at on your walk from the showers to your locker.
21. Secretly getting really competitive with the girl next to you on the treadmills and regretting it the next day. Walking has never been so difficult.
22. Using any sort of free weights screws up your manicure. If you’re a frequent gym-goer, light polishes are your BFF; darker ones show chips quicker.
23. That awkward moment when you can’t get your red lipstick all the way off after work, so you end up wearing it during your workout and looking like the Joker. Or Marilyn Monroe, depending on how you look at it.
24. You thought about doing squats, but then realized the jerk who used the free weights (that are now in your way) didn’t rack them and they’re too heavy for you to lift. Your dreams of doing squats are squashed.
25. You have so much more laundry to do. Grrrr.
26. Seeing the same instructors in classes over and over, and not knowing if it’s more awkward to introduce yourself or not introduce yourself. Fact: It’s more awkward if you don’t introduce yourself.
27. And then when you do “know” the instructor and he/she pushes you harder/knows when you’re cheating. #CalledOut.
28. That annoying struggle of trying to get dressed while still trying to cover your goods. Only because you don’t want to contribute to the nakedness and flash the entire locker room.
29. When you try a new class and everyone is coordinated but you. Practice makes perfect.
30. Doing tons of squats and then having to hold on to the wall for two days just to sit on a toilet. That’s real.
31. That moment when you have to use the foam roller on the communal mat at the gym to roll out your thigh muscles, while simultaneously trying not to look like thrusting it sexually. There’s really no way of getting around this.